Winter world
Bernd Heinrich's well-informed (if syntactically weird) book Winter World looks at how animals survive the winter. It brings me peace to curl up and read of animals braving the cold, and Heinrich's scientific thoroughness makes his narrative bracing as the breeze of a sunlit, subzero day. My favorite comment on this book is made by highly rated Amazon reviewer David W. Straight, who contrasts this book with Annie Dillard's contemplative Pilgrim at Tinker Creek by tartly observing, "Neither Thoreau nor Annie Dillard measured the rectal temperature of insects in the winter to help determine the mechanics of heat regulation."

posted December 22, 2004 11:06 pm

Netflix gets it
Maket analysts keep dismissing Netflix, the online DVD rental service, even though only Netflix understands what customers want. Intelligent customers, anyway. Today Blockbuster announced they're "ending" late fees, in another pathetic attempt to hold on to their rapidly dwindling market share, but under the new plan, customers will have one week to return movies to Blockbuster, after which they'll automatically be charged—guess what?—a fee. Sounds to me the new plan will only ensure emptier shelves for Blockbuster's blockbusters. Yet market analyst Michael Pachter, quoted today on Reuters, rates Blockbuster's stock a "buy," explaining, "Netflix's reason for existing is 'don't pay any more late fees'." Pachter doesn't get it: Netflix's reason for existing is that its superlative online DVD rental service—its selection, service (which genuinely doesn't include any late fees), and, most of all, the its website—simply blows any other way of renting movies out of the water. Read here why I like Netflix and don't like Blockbuster.
posted December 14, 2004 9:01 pm

Archbishops
In time for my annual Christmas party, I bring you the drink recipe for Archbishops, the infamous libation with which I honor my late English professor, Stephen Lacey. Recipe provided courtesy of Tony Vaver, another alumnus, on pages 52-53 of the colorful tribute paid by his colleagues, students, and friends, which you may read here (my tribute is on page 47).

Blend:
2 cups hot coffee
3 cups ice cream

Add:
2 cups vodka
1/4 cup dry sherry
1/8 cup Kahlúa

posted December 10, 2004 5:06 pm

He's a hero
US soldier Thomas Wilson, a blunt-spoken army specialist from Nashville, Tennessee, stood up at a Donald Rumsfeld's "town hall meeting" visit to Camp Udeira, Iraq—"it was supposed to have been a pep-rally atmosphere," a Rumsfeld adviser later complained—and pointedly asked the United States Secretary of Defense, "Why do we soldiers have to dig through local landfills for pieces of scrap metal and compromised ballistic glass to up-armor our vehicles?" At this, wide applause and shouting broke out among the 2,300 troops as Rumsfeld stood, momentarily at a loss for words. See a video of this here, read an article about it here, get NPR's take on it here, and read the transcript here. (Photograph below by Gustavo Ferrari, for AP Press.)

posted December 9, 2004 8:28 am

Office Space
Loved this movie because of its eerily exact replication of life in the office. Listen to Kinna McInroe as Nina: "Corporate Accounts Payable, Nina speaking! Just a moment!"—she repeats this endlessly through the film—by visiting the "Office Space" sounds webpage, here. (To fully create the "Office Space" ambience in your home, open Quick Time, click on "Open URL," and copy and paste "http://funwavs.com/wavfile.php?quote=2294&sound=341" into it, and check "Loop.")
posted December 6, 2004 9:27 pm

Good one!
A delightful Jack Ziegler cartoon for you (published in a recent New Yorker). This might be a good juncture for me to mention that the justly beloved Bea Arthur (of TV's "The Golden Girls" fame) is taking on Kentucky Fried Chicken's incredibly sadistic and slipshod animal husbandry practices.

posted November 27, 2004 9:37 am

Deflating Atkins
Annoyed by yet another patient telling me the Atkins diet works, today I researched ketosis, the nirvana Atkins acolytes seek to reach by replacing carbohydrates with protein and fat. Ketosis is in fact a kind of blood poisoning that does indeed give you some short-term fat breakdown, as well as headaches, nausea, and muscle cramps, as undigested acids build up in your blood. It also seriously impairs your capacity to exercise because any lactic acid produced by effortful movement pushes the already unhealthful acidosis of your blood to potentially toxic levels. (Assuming you can exercise at all with your headache, nausea, and muscle cramps.) High-protein diets also have been shown to leach calcium out of your bones (not good!). A recent year-long study of Atkins dieters showed they did indeed lose fat during the first six months, but the diet was so unappetizing that after a year, all the subjects had gained their weight back. Moreover, the meats, cheeses, eggs, and other high-saturated-fat and cholestrol-containing foods advocated by Atkins may set the stage for heart disease even as you enjoy your (temporary) weight loss. Settling the matter, in my mind, is the role heart disease played in the death of Atkins himself. Smarten up, and go vegan instead.
posted November 14, 2004 10:41 am

"A Tale of a Tub" on Wikipedia
For no particular reason, I commend Wikipedia's article on Jonathan Swift's "A Tale of a Tub" for your edification.
posted November 14, 2004 10:40 am

Tea house
Out and about last night, I finally noticed a place in Boston I can recommend. The Qing Ping Teahouse, on 231 Shawmut Avenue in Boston's South End, features peace and quiet in the middle of Boston's trendiest neighborhood. At the upstairs landing was what looked to be (but wasn't) a DJ console: "But what a good idea!" I said to the tolerant hostess. See their generous website, here, or get a map to it here. Their hours are in the p.m., and, fittingly, inscrutable, so call ahead: 617 482-9988. Or, for a more Confucian experience, just go in the morning when they're closed, and contemplate the eternal verities of the cobblestone sidewalk—"cracked sidewalks for the living," as Joan Didion would tell us.
posted November 8, 2004 12:47 pm

My Netflix movie reviews, posted
Want ideas for movie rentals? I've written some movie reviews on Netflix. Read the reviews here. And if you're a Netflix member already, and found my reviews helpful, be sure to please click the "Helpful" icon!

posted November 5, 2004 7:53 am

Teamwork?
Now that Bush is elected, we need unity more than divisiveness. Speaking directly to supporters of Kerry, Bush said: "I will need your support, and I will work to earn it. I will do all I can to deserve your trust." Is Bush signaling a more centrist, inclusive approach to his second term? I hope so. But Cheney wasted no time getting back to business as usual, declaring Bush's victory a "mandate," arrogantly dismissing the 48% of the country who voted for change. Before you turn to reunite with the rest of the country, read Kerry's letter he sent to his supporters here. In his letter, we glimpse the potential greatness of a presidency that now will never be.

posted November 5, 2004 7:41 am

More about that handstand photo
Photographer Tim Boyles, who maintains a website with similarly quietly excellent photos at timboylesphotography.com, reports, "A lot of people came to the location I was at to face the storm. As the waves crashed over the seawall, Eric was just standing there getting wet with his buddies for fifteen minutes or so, than out of the blue did a handstand and held it for quite a while—a minute or so. I couldn't believe it. I just shot the picture and got his name after he was done. We were on a beach..there were no objects flying around except waves and rain.  He was completely calm and comfortable." Thank you Tim, for the report! Tim also is featured on media giant Getty Images here.
posted October 22, 2004 9:10 am

All-weather exercise
As you continue training, your body gets better at adjusting to all weather conditions. Of course, you should use common sense (one of the patients I worked with in school had quadraplegia—paralysis from the shoulders down—from body-surfing off Cape Cod during 1991's Hurricane Bob). Nevertheless, it's fun throwing caution to the wind. Eric Simoneau knows this, as he does a handstand while Hurricane Jeanne passes through St. Petersburg, Florida. (Photograph by Tim Boyles for AFP/Getty Images.)

posted September 26, 2004 6:52 pm

Get off your duff with "Muffin Man"
Humankind's slide towards mass obesity might be alarming, but shouldn't it also be entertaining? Brilliant independent filmmaker and alert That There Paul visitor Jessica Eisner answers this question with a resounding "Yes!" She brings us "Muffin Man," a movie you can learn about here. Watch the trailer here, shop for it on Amazon here, but if you buy it, buy it on the filmmaker's own website here. ("Amazon takes 67% of the profit," Jessica reports.)

posted September 23, 2004 8:48 pm

Early R.E.M. clarified
Dense, rich, murky, and brilliant, the lyrics of R.E.M.'s early releases, Murmur, Fables of the Reconstruction, and Reckoning, are as beautiful as they are inaudible. What was Michael Stipe singing? At least for these songs, now you can know: click on the song title to read its lyric: "Gardening at Night," "Pilgrimage," "Letter Never Sent," "Harbor Coat," "Maps and Legends," Old Man Kensey," "Green Grow the Rushes," "Kohoutek," "Good Advices," and "Wendell Gee." (Sequence courtesy of Vince Welter. Lyrics search courtesy of Google.)
posted September 20, 2004 8:06 pm

Blue Hill photo series
State-of-the-art peace and quiet reigned during this morning's early nature walk. Read more about it here.

posted September 5, 2004 2:57 pm

Pike jump
My friend took a picture of me today doing a pike jump, one of the equipment-free exercises I espouse in my upcoming fitness book.

posted August 24, 2004 1:41pm

This Week in God
Comedy Central's Daily Show brings us "This Week in God," hosted by Strangers with Candy alumnus Steven Colbert. Using his gift for fastidious sarcasm—"God works in mysterious ways; that's why He has me explain what He wants in a way that leaves no room for argument or interpretation"—Mr. Colbert makes short work of a feminism-correcting Vatican document, Mecca Cola, and Seth, a slightly flat descant singer (whom he assures, "God is very disappointed in you"). See videos of Mr. Colbert here, or visit The Daily Show's website here.

posted August 18, 2004 5:12pm

Pleasure?
A man cries out in pain as the caption extolls the pleasure of beachside living. This photo from Diesel's large, arty 1995 catalogue, depicts fabulous, tormented beachgoers staying at Le Panic, a beach resort loosely based on Miami Beach's famous Pelican Hotel.

posted August 12, 2004 3:03pm

Listening up
I've rediscovered—briefly—the Boston music scene, tough, durable, and waterproof, with the aid of an important tool: earplugs. Last weekend, I heard two rock bands: Banter, headed by Dan Sheehan, (a sometime That There Paul visitor), with feet-on-the-ground tunes off their latest "Urban Pastures" CD like "Take A Walk," "Metaphysics," and "Open Wide," the latter of which ostensibly describes a visit to the dentist, but veers, as far as I can tell, into a full-speed-ahead rock'n'roll treatise on the human condition. The neo-speed-punk songs of the next band, Reaxis, were leavened with garage kid antics, including an angular drummer removing his shirt for us: "Maybe he should put it back on," the singer joked. "No, keep it off!" two guys drinking beer shouted. Maybe it was just the beer, but the raucous, joyful music seemed as it should be.

posted July 29, 2004 6:36 pm

Divine guidance
Once again, I direct you to SpamRadio, where you may hear spam messages read by a delightfully toneless computer voice and set to dental office background music.Try this advertisement for a spirituality video, which, we are told, consists of a preacher standing in a classroom for two hours. Listen to it here.

posted July 5, 2004 10:05 am

Back from P-town
Back from Provincetown, I refer you to this view from the ship entering Boston harbor. Keeping it simple, I did not take any photos of my Provincetown trip, but others did of theirs, which you can see here and here. By now it should come as little surprise that I have more to say about the sea, here.

posted June 26, 2004 3:29 pm

Marine signals
During my sister's visit to town this weekend, we walked Boston's timelessly stodgy Freedom Trail and learned about marine signal flags. "Naval signalmen," an educational exhibit told us, "transmit messages by hoisting a series of flags." According to a refrigerator magnet (enlarged below) on sale in the gift shop, each flag spells out a letter. While I like this cumbersome system because you could spell out Hamlet (78,241 flags including the "endstop" flag), I was relieved to find that according to international maritime convention, signal flags can also represent entire thoughts. For example, the blue rectangle "P" flag, also called "Blue Peter", means "The ship is about to sail" when at harbor, and "Hey, your lights are dim," when at sea. Getting back to the task of signaling the text of Hamlet, semaphore might be faster: at one second per signal, the great tragedy could be spelled out in just 21 hours, 44 minutes, and one second.

posted June 6, 2004 9:13 pm

The Merv Griffin Episode
Excitement, or something like it, is in the airwaves today as the famous "Seinfeld" episode in which Kramer appropriates the old Merv Griffin Show set and, eventually, identity airs at 7pm EDT on Fox, or at least does so here in New England. Check your local TV listings here to find out when to watch this episode, or read the entire script here so you don't have to. See an interactive list of my favorite dozen or so Seinfeld episodes here.
posted June 1, 2004 12:19 pm

Donnie Darko
Yes, it's time for me to talk about another movie: this weekend, Netflix served me up Richard Kelly's "Donnie Darko", a beautiful movie revolving around a ridiculous plot: only by agreeing to be impaled by a jet engine can the hero prevent the implosion of reality. Along with Netflix's "Donnie Darko" page here, read the definitive Richard Kelly interview with Rebecca Murray here, DVD Journal's exhaustive "Donnie Darko" DVD inventory here, or understand the director's secret agenda by reading "The Philosophy of Time Travel" here. I loved the movie for melding real-world detail, like the Fibonacci spirals which are painted on jet engine nacelles so that headset-wearing grounds crew will know the jet is spinning, into a vivid dream.

posted May 24, 2004 9:43 pm

Tutti Gucci
Ian Frazier brings us another piece of verbal buffoonery in this week's New Yorker deploring the exit of Tom Ford from Gucci, the "most important luxury-products company in the world", and explaining the Gucci mission, "to make newer and more luxurious luxury products than the ones that have previously been made." Read the complete piece, which I've posted here, along with a bonus-healthy-sandwich-recipe link.
posted May 22, 2004 8:24 am

Take us to your leader
While civilized humans have been the dominant life form on earth for 10,000 years, or 1/100,000th percent of geologic history, stromatolites, oxygen-forming bacteria that look a lot like rocks, have been the dominant life form for 3.26 billion years, or 78% of geologic history. Extraterrestrials visiting at random would therefore be 8 million times more likely to visit during the time when our planet's most advanced life form was a rigid heap of sedimentary bacterial mucilage. Of course, should they visit now and encounter the current American administration, they would find much the same thing. Learn more about stromatolites and geologic time here.

posted May 10, 2004 4:02 pm

My fitness book slowly improving
I've cut back on my practice a little bit to invest time in things that matter more to me, like my fitness book, which I promise will stand out from the crowd because it's based on research, not whim. If you want, read another excerpt from my book here.
posted May 5, 2004 10:34 am

Which and that
As a Strunk & White devotee ("Omit needless words! Omit needless words!") I always thought clauses beginning with "which" should be eliminated. "The careful writer, watchful for small conveniences, goes which-hunting, removes the defining whiches, and by so doing improves his work." (Strunk & White, p. 59.) Thinking Strunk & White could never be wrong, I've never used a which since. While clauses are driftwood usually best cleared off the literary beach, the new grammar book I've been reading, by one C. Edward Good, brings whiches out of ignominy with a vivid example using, I am proud to report (since I went to school in Iowa), cows. (As Rose says when The Golden Girls appear on the Hollywood television game show "Grab That Dough" in episode #67, "I'm proud to take cows for $500.") Use which for appositive or nonrestrictive clauses: The cows, which slept in the barn, survived (all of the cows slept in the barn and survived). Use that for clauses that restrict or define: The cows that slept in the barn survived (only the cows that slept in the barn survived; the cows that did not sleep in the barn didn't —call McDonald's).
posted May 5, 2004 10:34 am

Dan's band
Take a break from overly processed corporate mall popmusik by coming to the Skybar of Somerville, Massachusetts, where alert That There Paul visitor Dan performs this Saturday night, May 8th, around 11 pm, at a reunion of the anti-shlock rock band Banter. My friend Dan now lives in New York City, where he runs Dakesh Productions, the platform from which he launches myriad recording projects, such as Dan Sheehan Music, neo-retro band Hy-Tyde, or a rumored solo project with Morrissey's drummer.
posted May 3, 2004 6:10 pm

The Film File
As I've patiently explained to my friends, I haven't had an original thought in years. Whenever I see a film, I can't wait to read The New Yorker to find out what I should have thought about it. Now that I see films on DVDs from Netflix, months or years after their New Yorker review, however, I've come close to thinking for myself. Fortunately, with the New Yorker's new Film File, a collection of short reviews of nearly two thousand films released since 1990, I no longer have to. For example, The Film File correctly describes the wilderness of "Black Robe" as "piercingly lovely", the male dreams of "The Brothers McMullen" as "straight", and the empowerment fable of "Whale Rider" as "winning".
posted May 2, 2004 3:52 pm

Our president labeled an idiot
As reported today on Yahoo! News, laptop bags made by laptop bag maker Tom Bihn carry the words "Nous sommes desoles que notre president soit un idiot. Nous n'avons pas vote pour lui." ("We are sorry that our president is an idiot. We did not vote for him.") on the laundry label. As a result, the bags are selling briskly. This is a laundry label I agree with! Read the full article here. Buy a T-shirt with the label here. See a picture of the label here.
posted April 29, 2004 3:12 pm

"Black Robe" and Canadian wilderness
The spectacular wilderness of "Black Robe" was the film's true star. Using the low-tech method of taking a photo of my TV, a method also used by Baltimore (and sometime Provincetown-vacationing) filmmaker John Waters, who I admire for comfortably exuding high levels of camp, I captured the photo below. I've always wanted to live like an Indian (yeah, yeah, Native American). I have more to say - way more - about "Black Robe" here.

posted April 25, 2004 5:02 pm

What PRIZM lifestyle cluster are you?
The aggregate of years of marketing research (with and without the two-drink minimum), the PRIZM lifestyle cluster matrix can help YOU understand your place in their rosy, keep-on-spendin' view of society.

posted April 20, 2004 12:46 pm

Simulated Hong Kong
Gentle readers, I descend into the depths of nerdiness and bring you the shining towers and splendid hills of Hong Kong. Simulated Hong Kong, that is. Contemplate the zoning (yellow is industrial; green, residential; blue, commercial; and orange, other) before going here to read more.

posted April 19, 2004 6:04pm

The fat American ass
Alert That There Paul visitor Jessica Eisner, MD has just come out with an award-winning mockumentary movie, Muffin Man, describing our country's shimmy down the evolutionary ladder. With American obesity at an all-time high (obesity's doubled in the last ten years) and American prestige at a historic low (we're fighting an unjustified war to gas our SUVs), her film is exceptionally well-timed. "I'd never thought much about how Americans were viewed overseas," says writer David Sedaris in his essay, "I Pledge Allegiance to the Bag" in his latest book, Me Talk Pretty One Day, "until I came to France and was expected to look and behave in a certain way. Europeans expected me to regularly wash my hands with prepackaged towelettes and to automatically reject all unpasteurized dairy products. If I was thin, it must be because I'd recently lost the extra fifty pounds traditionally cushioning the standard American ass. If I was pushy, it was typical; and if I wasn't, it was probably due to Prozac." (No offense is intended, by the way, to my big friends and family, who have my love and respect.) If you want, read about healthier eating here. Buy your copy of "Muffin Man" here.

posted April 18, 2004 10:24 pm

Mind the wallpaper
The BBC brings us a fully fledged website devoted to the British television comedy "Keeping Up Appearances" (which airs in Boston tonight on Channel 44 at 8:50 pm) that includes downloadable "Keeping Up Appearances" desktop wallpaper. Finally, a site we can use! Remember the closing song at the end of the second Austin Powers? "BBC One! BBC Two! BBC Three! BBC Four!" The song, entitled, appropriately, "BBC One" by Brit superneoschlockpop group Ming Tea, is downloadable on Kazaa, not that I can recommend that. Listen to clips of similar songs here. Learn the cord structure for "BBC One" here.

posted April 17, 2004 5:02 pm

Gay dating
That There Paul kudos go to Stoli, the administrator of gay dating service Qguys.com, who has 505 fans on his profile. I only have 117 fans on my profile (which I maintain on another site, thank you very much). Is it time for Botox already? My best straight friend looks at the prolific nature of gay dating wistfully: "If only girls were so easy."
posted April 17, 2004 1:20 pm

The Meatrix
I've been so busy, but I still have had time to conclude that there is just not enough self-righteous indignation on this page, so I mention The Meatrix, an animated clip that will make you think differently about eating meat -- and read here about how you can get plenty of protein from good old cancer-fighting veggies. Go veggie! Go vegan!
posted April 13, 2004 12:47 pm

That lying right
I find it interesting that Al Franken's book, Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them: A Fair and Balanced Look at the Right is the #2 best-selling book among the U.S. Marine Corps right now, according to Amazon's U.S. Marine Corp military purchase circle.
posted February 16, 2004 10:17 am

Civil unions not enough
The right of people to marry, whether or not they're straight, should now be beyond serious dispute, but in much of the United States, same-sex marriage is still controversial, in exactly the same sense that the right of people to drink at the same drinking fountain regardless of their skin color was controversial in the 1950's. Landing squarely on the wrong side of the issue is the Republican party, who, in their effort to enliven what one must earnestly hope will be a doomed presidential bid, rallied anti-gay conservatives yesterday to take away the right to marry from gay people in Massachusetts. With marriage affording at least 1,138 distinct legal benefits, a list that includes the rights of hospital visitation, inheritance, medical coverage, and thousands of dollars of tax benefits, you can see why gay people object to conservatives comparing them to animals, refuse being segregated to inferior civil unions, and with increasing voice and clarity, demand the right to marry. Extending marriage rights to same-sex couples won't threaten our society, and may well strengthen it. Get updates on gay marriage in America here.
posted February 13, 2004 9:13 am

1984
It was twenty years ago that one of the most powerful statements against conformity ever made appeared, ironically, in the form of a Superbowl commercial for Apple's Macintosh computer. You can see it here.

posted January 31, 2004 1:27 pm

Natural high of the week
I found that curly mustard clears your sinuses - it's like light coursing through your body.

posted January 26, 2004 6:50 pm

Trains moving near the speed of light
Staying at home with a sore throat this weekend, I thought of trains moving near the speed of light, a sort of mind puzzle that brings me peace. As the train's speed approaches the speed of light, its length is compressed and time dilates (passage of time on the train slows), at least relative to an observer, because the speed of light is constant. University of Virginia physicist Michael Fowler elaborates in his online lecture series: "The Train and the Twins" which you can read here. In case you think this is just pretentious crapola, read about the Boston-based Swinging Erudite's album, "Pretentious Crapola", here instead. The Swinging Erudites have been described as "the worst band in the world".

posted January 19, 2004 4:44 pm

Poem for the new year
The best W.H. Auden biography by the amiable Humphrey Carpenter, who is better known for his iconoclastic Tolkien bio, is great fun, highly witty, and available here. Today I bring you Auden's "Petition", an odd, Latinate prayer in accentual meter, as Judson Jerome says in The Poet's Handbook (from which this poem is unauthorizedly reproduced), in which the poet beseeches a merciful God not too permit too much human weakness. Read more about my reading list here.

posted January 1, 2004, 12:56 pm