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2005
Quack
doctor Oakley Frost, The Church of the F.S.M.,
Harriet Miers, salt water snorting for colds, and
Pure Foods.
Ribotomy,
elephantoplasty
Working on the outer fringe of medicine, New
England surgeon Dr. Oakley Frost testified
in court about his controversial treatment for
chronic pain: removing ribs.
Despite having removed 68 ribs from 54 patients,
the court record states, Dr. Frost still does not
have operating privileges at the Southwestern
Vermont Medical Center, where he sees his
patients. He also admitted he recommends that 90
to 95% of his patients getting one rib removed
undergo the procedure again to get more ribs
removed. One of his patients, a worker's
compensation beneficiary who has not worked since
lifting a box of coat hangers in 1994, recently
arrived in court in a back brace, shoulder
splint, and wheelchair, claiming that "any
movement causes her pain." Yet both doctor
and patient testified they consider the surgery a
success because "a small band at the level
of the first surgery remains pain free." Not
surprisingly, the court denied the medical
necessity of Dr. Frost's surgery. Read the
complete record here. What's next? Elephantoplasty?
posted December 24, 2005, 8:07 am
The
Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster
Not
to be outdone by Christian proponents of I.D., or
"intelligent design," who posit the
literal creation of the species by an
all-powerful god, despite the mass of
evidence to the contrary, followers of the Flying
Spaghetti Monster, or F.S.M., have asked
the Kansas Board of Education to allow their
alternative theory of creation to be taught
alongside evolution in public schools. While
their alternative viewthat the species were
created by a flying spaghetti monsterhas
been criticized for lacking credible scientific
evidence and the endorsement of a single
respected scientist, Pastafarians, as they prefer
to be called, remind us that the Church of the
F.S.M. is the world's fastest-growing religion,
and vow, "They can't ignore us
forever!" Alarmed conservative Christians
like American University idealogue Nathan
Hunerwadel, pointing out that a university is no
place for controversial thought, complain that
Church of the F.S.M. material, such as its depiction of Michaelangelo's
"The Creation of Man," with
Michaelangelo's image of God replaced by "a
hideous spaghetti monster consisting of two holy
meatballs and omnipotent noodly appendages,"
is "an attack on Christ." Visit the
Church of the F.S.M. here, and read the Hammer of Truth's
blog's take on all this here.
posted December 10, 2005, 7:23 am
The
unhealthy potato
Potatoes,
America's most popular "vegetable," are
low-quality carbohydrates most people should eat
less of. Packed with starch, potatoes,
whether baked, mashed, or as French fries, inundate your body
with calories you absorb all too quickly, leaving
you hungry again. But none of that matters to the
United States Potato Board. In yesterday's Macy's
Thanksgiving Day Parade, a revamped Mr. Healthy
Potato, outfitted with a water bottle, an MP3
player, and running shoes, sent a misleading
message. According to well-established research, potatoes have a higher
glycemic index than sugar iteself: the potato
lobby should have outfitted Mr. Potato Head with
insulin tabs, a finger-stick monitor, and
diabetic foot ulcers instead. I advocate a
healthier way of eating in my upcoming
bookread excerpts here.
posted November 24, 2005, 7:23 am
There's
no business like Negativland
The delightfully anti-corporate Negativland
continues apace with antics the media struggles
to describe as "experimental rock." In
their latest campaign, in response to a
controversial recent Supreme Court
decision
punishing file swapping ("secondary digital
infringement"), Negativland has prepared a
large and entertaining video, "No
Business"delivered through
file-swappingthat you can view here. (Thanks to alert That
There Paul visitor and fellow Negativland fan Mo
for sending in this story.)
posted November 24, 2005, 7:22 am
Harriet Miers,
#1 Best Withdrawn Nominee!!
We all now
know that Bush nominated his personal lawyer and
former Texas lottery commissioner Harriet
Miers to be the next Supreme Court
justice, then, under withering opposition from
his own party, forced her to withdraw. For the
full story of a nominee who in all seriousness
said George W. Bush was the most brilliant man
she had ever met, read "Harriet Miers's Blog!!" The blog's author, writing
under the pen name "Harriet Miers" and
liberally using exclamation points,
- tackles the socially
sensitive issue of abortion: "No I
never talked to the president about it...
he's MARRIED, people!! There's no way
there ever would've been a need, EVER...
the rumors are a load of BS (Baloney
Sandwich)!"
- conducts a straw poll
asking "only senators to vote":
("Its Non Binding and it just takes
a second. If your not a Senator, I'll
know because I'll get more than 100
votes!!")
- tells the real story
behind the questionnaire that Harriet
Miers famously had to do over: "I
TURNED IN THE WRONG THING!! I'm not sure
what was in those envelopes, maybe my
taxes or something (yes, double extension
and I'm still late, I've been busy
OK!!)...but I was checking the blogs and
I saw this and my heart went through the
floor, the questionnaire's sitting on my
desk. How could I be so dumb. Did Warren
Burger ever do this?!! GRHRGGGG"
Good stuff. For more, read The
New Yorker's two pieces here.
posted November 15, 2005, 12:19 pm
Snorting
salt water
Gentle
readers, out of yogic antiquity comes a new cold
remedy. Far be it from me to advise you to snort
anything, especially
given Carrie Fisher's delightful Postcards from the Edge, a story of a Hollywood star's
comeback from cocaine addiction, which begins
memorably, "Maybe I shouldn't have given the
guy who pumped my stomach my phone number, but
who cares?" Researchers now advise you to
place salt water (or saline
solution) in the cup of your hand, and snort it
up each nostril as frequently as once daily
during cold season. It kind of makes sense, given
that life originated in the sea. Listen more to this, uh,
interesting advice here
on NPR.
posted October 12, 2005, 9:00 am
Crossing
I'm making
some exciting changes in my life now, and feel
the need to post a symbolic picture of a mountain
pass.

posted October 5, 2005, 12:07 pm
Photogenic
'phews
OK, I'm done
bitching about the Bush
administration for now, because it's just a
bottomless subject. Fortunately, my photogenic
nephews have been featured here
on children photographer website
elizabethadams.com. (Sam's feet appear to be
pressing on a window: perhaps to accurately
portray them, it was necessary to seal them in a
glass cube. Probably some new trend in child
raising.) They're so cute! Happy b-day Sam! You
rock! Rock!
posted October 2, 2005, 7:12 am
Chickens
come home to roost
Seven months
after 146 other nations agreed to the Kyoto protocols, a virtually unregulated American
indu stry mindlessly dumps millions of tons of pollutants into
the environment, causing ocean temperatures to
climb and spawning two gigantic "once in a
lifetime" Category 5 hurricanes in the space
of a month. Presiding over this degraded
world, Bush now rushes around like a
pom-pom-waving male cheerleader to make up for
his failure to do anything while New Orleans
flooded, but nobody mentions cutting carbon
emissions. And why did he appoint a former
horse commissioner director of FEMA? Meanwhile,
Barbara Bush, commenting about the victims who
had survived the scenes of rape and murder in the
Superdome, said,
"so many of the people in the arena here,
you know, were underprivileged anyway, so this is
working very well for them." Read The
New Yorker's take on the Bush
Administration's handling of Katrina here,
or see what The Daily Show had to say here,
or The Onion's viewpoint here.
posted September 7, 2005, 3:18 pm
Watching
you watching me
"I've
been/ Watching you/ Watching me/ Watching you/ Watching
me," goes the lyric to "Club le
Narcisse" on Malcolm McLaren's album Paris
(an album featured on my April listening list). In keeping with powerful
companies like Netflix
that use software to track visitors'
paths through their websites, here at That There
Paul I have inaugurated the all-powerful Webalizer, which tells me I've had some 407
unique visits this month alone, including 0.04%
of them from the Seychelles"ˇHóla!"and
somebody looking for the lyrics to "Clan,
clang, clang goes the trolley" (they're over
here).
While the Webalizer, like so much on this site,
exists for the benefit of nobody else whatsoever,
don't you worry, because for this month only, you
can read my Webalizer report here!
What, that's not enough? Well, just for you, I've
installed a fresh counter at the bottom of
every page, from Bush Sucks! (my most popular page), to That There Paul Photo Number 10 (my most obscure). Today I've
re-set every counter to zero, except for this
page, which the Webalizer tells me to set at
"2192."
posted August 19, 2005, 5:17 pm
Mr. Housing
Bubble
Although ready
to buy in Boston, I stay in my rented place,
because my rent is now only 35% of what a mortgage would be for an equivalent
apartment, so high have housing prices
soared. I have, at least, lots
of company.
We are living in a national housing bubble
of historic size, and Boston tops the list,
analysts say on a recent NPR broadcast featuring Pam Woodall, economic editor of The
Economist, brazen real estate hawker
Elizabeth Razzi, and Marco Van Akkeren, economist
for the PMI Group. Woodall direly predicts
collapse in American real estate and Van
Akkeren's study puts Boston atop the list of the
fifty riskiest housing markets, but Razzi
blithely advises a hapless first-time buyer in
San Francisco to either pay a flipper his
inflated asking price or move to Sacramento. I
agree with Woodall and Van Akkeren's cautionary
outlook, as do others, who you can read here, here
and here,
and, in a lively ongoing discussion, here.
When the bubble does burst, t-shirts like
"Mr. Housing Bubble," available in all
sizes for $19, will meet the need for inexpensive
clothes. What to do? Hire a competent financial planner, and diversify by investing in mutual funds and stocks.
posted August 17, 2005, 2:06 pm
Plant kingdom
come
Researchers at
John Hopkins like Dr. Paul Tala lay
have identified broccoli sprouts as having
exceptionally high levels of sulforaphane, a
naturally occurring phytochemical shown to
measurably reduce the risk of several kinds of
cancer. BroccoSprouts now appear in my grocery
store's produce aisle as a refreshing example of
honest enterpreneurs bringing science-proven
foods to market. The unprocessed plant-derived
foods like beans, fruits, nuts, vegetables, and
whole grains that make up a vegan diet have been
shown by real research to measurably help your health. The
honesty of Dr. Talalay's work
contrasts markedly with the hucksterism and scams
of infomercial marketer Kevin Trudeau, who has served time in prison for
credit card fraud.
posted August 1, 2005, 7:36 pm
Remembering
"South Park"
Going to BU
for graduate school was a strange experience for
memy favorite pasttime was watching "South
Park," a television show about profane
8-year-olds. While Shelly, the classmate who
advised me to watch the show, mysteriously
disappeared after filming a video for our class
skit, "South Park," funny, crude, and
disarmingly simple, has not. The show's most
engaging character is Cartman, an unsinkably
self-indulgent overweight kid who pushes his way
to the front of the best
episodes, like the one where Cartman appears on
the Maury Povich show: "Maury, I am out of
control." See a clip of that here.
posted July 31, 2005, 4:50 pm
A reason
to visit Boston
Penetrate the provincialism
and stalk our staid streets with Aerosmith front
man Steve Tyler's surprisingly good cell-phone walking tour of Boston. As reported by Arielle Greenleaf
in this month's Boston magazine, the self-paced
tour "keeps guests out of your
hair" for about two hours, costs $5.95 (and
44 minutes of cell phone time), and includes a
stop at the Public Garden's monument to ether. Visitors to Boston will benefit
most from the Lonely Planet's guide here.
posted
June 12, 2005, 7:05 am
Favorite "Star
Trek TNG" episodes
I've plumbed
the depths of nerdiness, and
brought up this list of my favorite fourteen Star
Trek: The Next Generation episodes out of
the five-year, 178-episode series, which aired
from 1987 to 1994. I'm watching them these days
on Netflix. See the list here. Or learn about the gay-themed Star
Trek series, "Star Trek: Hidden
Frontier," and their upcoming July 4th
convention at the nearby Cambridge, Massachusetts
Hyatt, here.
posted April 30, 2005 8:04 am
Daniel
Loeb, Wall Street crusader
It's nice when
overpaid executives get flack.
This week, the New Yorker magazine
bestowed its highest honor, coverage in "The Talk of the
Town," on Wall Street firebrand Daniel Loeb,
a hedge fund manager who writes wonderfully
vitriolic letters "dedicated to puncturing
the social habits and pretensions of powerful
executives." One such letter, recently
dispatched to profligate Star Gas chairman Irik
Sevin, asks, "Under what theory of corporate
governance does one's mom sit on a Company
board?" "A few weeks ago," the
column notes, "Irik Sevin, and his mother,
quietly resigned." Read Ben McGrath's cool,
funny, and impeccably written article here.
Read some of Loeb's letters here, here,
and here.
posted April 16, 2005 10:16 am
Film,
film, film
Upon learning that non-Netflix members can't
access my Netflix profile, I put a list of my favorite films
here,
and why I like them. But I didn't stop there. My
revamped film page, here, gives you all the resources you'll
ever need to find the films you'll like. Or at
least the films I think you should like. Or read here
why I like that film of films, Black Robe. Or
contemplate here a
map of the Saguenay River, where Black Robe was
filmed, if for no other reason than to enjoy the
beauty of simple maps.
posted
February 14, 2005 1:59 pm
Le quatuor
caliente
I will turn
forty this year, and with that in mind I have to
confess a certain weariness with the Top Forty.
After listening to, say, Destiny's Child's recent
offering, "Say My Name," with lyrics
like this: "Say my name/ Say my name/ Say my
na-ame/ Say my name," it is a distinct
pleasure to turn to the higher standards
of classical music. I recommend the work of my
pianist friend Cédric Lorel, who, in conjunction
with a violinist, a double-bass player, and a
bandeonistWhat is a bandeon? I don't know
either, but it sounds like an accordion and
oh-so-French-likeand a guest vibrophone
player, has formed the Paris-based Quatuor Caliente. They've recorded a stellar CD,
"Astor Piazzolla: Libertango." I've
been listening to it in my walkman, in the
kitchen, in my car, everywhere! Read more here.
(In the fittingly French spirit of est moins
plus, the CD is rarely available in America,
but you may purchase it here.
posted February 11, 2005 9:46 am
Samantha
Bee takes on Social Security
As before, I
recommend the viewing of Comedy Central's The
Daily Show. Today, Samantha Bee has outdone
herself by making Star Parker, leader of a
neoconservative think tank, look like an
idiot in a sketch entitled "Social
Insecurity." (Postscript: while Comedy
Central later yanked this video, perhaps at the
behest of Ms. Parker's lawyers, you can still see
it on Underground Clips here.
Fortunately, much of the rest of Ms. Bee's work
survives on Comedy Central, here.)
posted February 3, 2005 8:19 am
I go
to Noo Yawk
During my
recent visit to New York, as advised by the New Yorker, I dined at Pure
(54 Irving Place in Gramercy Park, 212 477-1010),
where all food is splendidly vegan, raw, and
exceeds all conceivable standards. Samosas made
from cauliflower and tamarind sauce, ravioli made
from red beets and yellow peppers, green Market
apple pie with ice cream rendered mysteriously
from cashew nuts, and a sublime glass of wine
from the Bonny Doon vineyard of Santa Cruz, California, where
they strew fields with a witches' brew
of ingredients like valerian flower and oak bark,
and harvest the grapes in tune with the tides and
the phases of the moon: I don't know if it's
necessary to fertilize vineyard soil with yarrow
fermented in a stag's bladder, but the meal and
the wine were astoundingly good.
Earlier in the day, I dropped in on the East Village USA exhibit at the New Museum of Contemporary Art (temporarily
located at the Chelsea Art Museum 556 W 22nd St,
212 219-1222), a picture of which I bring you
below:
posted January 30, 2005 8:57 pm
My pizza
Working
tirelessly in my lab, I've developed a healthy, hearty
whole-grain, vegan pizza . At least I think
it's delicious. "Why don't we go really
high-fiber, and order ketchup on cardboard?
Pizza, dammit. Order pizza," Bea Arthur's
Dorothy would say. OK, my crust looks like something
you'd throw on the field at halftime, but that's
just the camera angle! Try making my pizza by
following the recipe I've posted here.
posted January 29, 2005 7:28 am
While
you wait
While you
breathlessly wait for That There Paul updates,
consider instead the much more frequently updated
blog by New Yorker Mike Toole, "Blogging Like I've Never Blogged
Before."
posted January 14, 2005 9:07 pm
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