Ulysses for dummies
With the magic of the Internet, James Joyce's historic masterwork has been efficiently reduced to 18 animated cartoons:

1. June 16, 1904. 8:00 a.m. Stephen Dedalus, a young schoolteacher, speaks to his friend, "stately, plump" Buck Mulligan, in the disused watchtower on the Liffey where they live.

2. 9:00 a.m. Stephen teaches at Mr. Deasy's school. God is "a shout in the street," Stephen says.

3. 10:00 a.m. Stephen mopes on the strand.

4. 8:00 a.m. Leopold Bloom, an advertising salesman, eats breakfast.

5. 9:00 a.m. At the post office, Bloom gets a love letter addressed to his alter ego, "Henry Flower."

6. 11:00 a.m. Bloom attends the burial of Dignam, an acquaintance. He rides to the cemetery with Stephen's father, Simon.

7. 11:00 a.m. In the "Aeolus" episode, Bloom visits a newspaper editor to place an advertisement.

8. Lunchtime. Bloom stops in at a pub for a bite to eat.

9. 2:00 p.m. At the library, Stephen discusses Shakespeare with friends as Bloom stops in to look at an old newspaper ad.

10. Mid-afternoon. A portrait of Dublin finds Stephen and Bloom crossing each other's paths twice.

11. Afternoon. Stopping at a pub, Bloom responds to the love letter he received earlier.

12. Afternoon. Bloom, a Jew, engages in debate with a one-eyed anti-semite who attacks him physically. Bloom escapes in the nick of time.

13. Afternoon. Bloom spies on a pair of girls who are relaxing on the strand. He masturbates.

14. Evening. Stopping at a maternity hospital to visit a friend, Bloom encounters Stephen, who is preparing to go out on the town with Dr. Mulligan and others. Worried, Bloom takes Stephen under his wing.

15. Night. Bloom and Stephen visit a brothel. Stephen destroys a lamp with his walking stick.

16. Night. Bloom asks Stephen to accompany him home. Stephen agrees, and sings a song by Johannes Jeep.

17. Night. Bloom is unable to convince Stephen to spend the night. Bloom sees Stephen out, and together they urinate in the garden.

18. Sunrise. Bloom goes to bed, waking his wife Molly, who thinks about how much she loves her husband.

"Ulysses for Dummies" used to be here, until it was suppressed by litigation from the "...for Dummies" book writers, but now (for a time) appears here. The animation hurting your eyes? The more placid original version of this page, in all its elegance and without the animation, is here.

To actually read Ulysses, get the Don Gifford concordance, and a handy guide like the concise Blamires or the luxurious McKenna or the venerable Schwarz, or even the obtuse Gilbert, and yes, because you'll need them, the Cliff's notes.

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